Closing the Cupboard

If you think Math and Physics are the worst subjects ever made, think again. In fact, the hardest thing you could ever find yourself into and that no form of education or tutorial can help you get through it is planning your own life.

It is a lot easier to dream than to execute your plans. Somewhere along the line, fate tries to get in your way and meddle with your affairs. What you thought could’ve been possible seems to be miles away from reality and the worst is, what you have persistently fought for against fate, becomes your biggest failure.

This is why it is hard to plan your life. The end you have in mind entails your fears and doubts. Thus, they all keep you from taking a shot at the risk they call life.

Believe me. I feel it, so perfectly.

I can say that senior year is the hardest period of my life as a student. It is just as if I am stuck at looking forward to the future but finding myself missing the childhood I enjoyed. Suddenly, all my simple dreams come in numerable options, all of which provide a future I doubt will come true. What makes planning my life so difficult is that I know someday things will be changed because there are uncontrollable forces that cause it to.

Aside from change, there’s always the fear of failure. Now that I am almost independent, there is less specific space of landing in case I would fall. There’s only myself whom I can rely on. There’s only my pair of feet that could support me, and the newly sprouted wings that are still vulnerable.

And right now, it made me regret that I ever wished to grow up, if growing up means you have to experience the worst, all by yourself.

But still, the future isn’t something I have to fear. In fact, fears are made to be faced, not to be run away from. It may be the most difficult thing to do but it’s all we could do to have the success we have been shooting for. We can never face that success if we choose to turn our backs at our fears.

Actually, this is just the next stage. And as I travel on, I’ll bring all the things I have learned throughout my highschool life. I’ll bring the bad and the good, whatever made me who I am right now. For if not the bad things, I wouldn’t have seen what is good and if not for the good, never will I long for something much more beautiful.

And someday, you’ll be on the pedestal I am right now. You’ll experience the same things I have told you and worry about the same things. It’s all up to you. Listen to what your heart says at the same time consult your mind. Fate may have provided us the options, but our life is a choice we make. The requisite to success is not just the formula but also the analysis of the problem. There is no correction pen available to erase what you have done nor a pencil you can use to play safe with your answers. All you have is yourself. So think carefully. A simple choice could make or break you.